What is a karmic relation? I have asked myself many times walking through two marriage and both ending with a lesson behinde.
Karma is not something bad or good. Karma is what you give so you will receive. So is up to you how you want to create you life and what kind of karma want to come back to you.
Karmic relation are passionate and yes can be love there but to a degree where is helping us to grow, to evolve and to understand for yourself what do you actually want in this life.
When I have been married first time was more for running out from my country and I have did this unconscious because now I realise all this. Nothing is right or wrong is just a lesson for me to learn. My soul knows why I have made this decisions. I was young and naive to understand the mind games that was playing, but I always had a strong intuition that help me to walk through all that. That relation taught me how is to be a suppressed woman and to be used. How is to feel the highest feeling of rejection and betrayal. I learn how is to feel the pain of physical and mental abuse but also how is to be played with emotions. I was for 4-5 years like a football ball that was running around, shooting in all directions and confused of my own life.
I call that the darkest period of my life, because I was like a doll taking from here and putting there. My opinion never was important and if I had the courage to speak something, it was given to taste the medicine of box. I was swallow so many things and I fulled myself with so much pain and drama, that today to say to myself: Is a miracle I am here mentally, emotionally and physical healthy.
Writing this I understand why I have been through all that to know how is feels to live this type of life and to understand women in this world that is having this life everyday without having courage to make a change because of fears.
Second marriage had keep me in a serious mental manipulation, living for 8 years with a narcissist. This relation helped me to grow, to follow my dream and to evolve to a point where I wanted more and it was impossible for me to receive because there was not more for me to learn.
It was calm relation, without violence, chill and pushing me to do someting for myself, ex: to learn self-defence. Was totally opposite relation if I will compared with my first marriage.
Falling in this calmness and being respected to a level, I forget about myself and like always I did everything to make others happy.
I forget that I have boundaries and by not listening myself, I have wake up one day that I start to have depression symptoms. I start to overthink for 2 weeks, spinning my head and speak less. I had a mentally breakdown to a point where I don't want to see anyone.
Crying for hours totally misunderstanding WHY because I had all that I needed at that time.
This relation taught me to listen to my soul, my heart. Taught me to set boundaries and to escape from drama even in front of me is a big wall called FEAR. This marriage help me to grow and to expend, but my soul want more, and it was impossible for him to help me with that.
Who knows what kind of karma I had with them, how many lifetimes we spend together and what I have did. But as I understand what we did in the past is turning around so what I have done, is turning around for me to experience that, OR I have choose to take this experiences for my own soul growth.
Whatever is the truth now this don't make any difference about my experiences.
Karmic relationship are helping us to evolve, to grow at a soul level. To learn about ourselves and to open to what we want in this life. To realise that nothing is written in stones and everything is changing and moving. What is difficult for us to get out from this relations is the emotion attachment and the fears of what it is the other side without them.
I am a woman, I understand women that are in this situations. The fears and powerless that we feel in this situations is so difficult to put it into words.
But I DID IT. I am so proud of myself taking that decisions and setting myself free from all this ''normal life''.
YES I believe in a dream relationship were we both helping each other to evolve to grow together and to love each other with all the wounds and the skelets that we have.
Life is to be enjoyed and if your partener don't help you with that, then what his the reason that we share a bed together.
In a relation we have to feel like home, accepted, loved in the most darkest days that we have. To feel that no matter what I am accepted and loved for WHO I AM and not WHAT I DID.
So in whatever relation you find yourself, ask is you are HAPPY there. Is make you grow? Is make you feel shining? Is make you feel special ? Is make you feel important and loved?
If YES, then YES that is for you.
If your relation is based of physical pleasure, financial support, emotional attachment... etc. then is a codependency relation that will not go to any further happiness.
Focus on yourself, your happiness and find the joy within. When you realise that you can do it all this alone then everything will become clearer for you what do you want and with who you want to share your life.
We don't NEED a partener but we WANT/ CHOOSE to share our life with a beautiful soul that is there with us and for us to grow and to learn more about ourselves.
Enjoy your life, love yourself and cherish your partener that makes you feel GOD.
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