We walk through life and we barely pay attention to our actions and our reactions. We are so focus on that or the other, to be right and everyone to be happy, bills to be payed and to don't own money to anyone. We start to live on autopilot and we don't pay attention to our internal system and our reactions. With awareness we see clearly our wounds.
Build relations, carries, focus on what we want to create and forget about our own inner world. We like to be seen and appreciated but this can happen when we appreciate our self.
And I will talk about vulnerability, and why we are afraid of been vulnerable. We have a belief that says to don't show your wounds because those that don't like you will use it agains you. YES . But not hide yourself totally even from your own partener.
We have been thought that speaking about what we feel and how we feel will push people away, and this is what we don't want.
Vulnerability is something to show up with because then we know exactly with who we are surrounding ourselves. To be vulnerable is not weakness, is TRUTH, is our nudity from inside, is us pure and without mask.
I let myself vulnerable all my life, til now in the last years I understand that not everyone deserve to know me from a deeper level. Everyone smile and fake their actions but few of them have courage to show their faces. I know is not easy and is uncomfortable.
By fake it everyday even from our self, we have big chance to run from what is the best for us. The fears of not knowing what is there and from change the position from one level of living to another can be scary, I know.
From creating a way of living in our own mind and actually what is the best for our self is totally the opposite, it can give us a lot of fears that makes us RUN.
Run from our happiness, from our succes and from our own joy because we don't know the other way how to live, because we don't allowed the flow of life to take over.
And here is about recognise in ourself the fears of taking actions, and fears of facing and speaking up even when the voice is shaking and your throw get blocked, allowed yourself to SPEAK YOUR TRUTH, your pain and your emotions that are showing up because we can not know ourself if we don't speak more about our nudity of soul.
I will be vulnerable here and I will share my face that I still pill it layer over layer to know more about myself and what I am running from.
I see myself a warrior that cut in left and right and in this way I have survive to where I am. I run from things that make me pain and I let it behind.
When life give me a second change, I want to take all of this opportunity and to evolve.
Even though I am writing positive and empowering phase, I have moment when I struggle and run from things, better run then speak about them. YES. The fears of the past come up and let me vulnerable, being afraid to speak for what I deserve and to speak up my worth. Easier for me was to run.
I am not perfect and I am learning everyday how to be the best version of myself. Even I look and show the warrior in me, I have moments when the most vulnerable child is crying asking for help. Even I empower women to stand up for themselves, I have struggles to show up for myself. I have not all figure it out, but I am learning by walking my path.
More I learn to speak up and to be vulnerable with people that are close to my heart, more I am learning about myself and all the beliefs that I have in my subconscious mind that are leading my actions. Because when we are open with ourselves and with those close to us, we can mirror in each other the wounds and the beliefs that we are not aware of, BUT is creating a big part of our life.
Vulnerability is not weakness, is a beautiful way to show up as we are, naked and pure of hearts. Is sad that we are hiding ourselves from who we are and we like to hold a mask on face, playing the good and actually don't give a damn f***k about people that we are surrending with. Better don't hold a fake space, because the heart is where we are getting hurt.
And now I learn how to speak with my heart and cut with sword all negative and fake people that pretend to be there for me. I grow up in 2 years like for my entire life. In have open my eyes to see and to observe.
You hurt me, I let you go. You hate me, I love you more. You betrayed me, I look with compassion at you. You ghost me, I disappear. I don't like this games anymore, to hide and to pretend for what we are not.
Be yourself or find your way, but this time... I don't let the dirty to show in my life. I know I still have to lead will some, because Universe is always testing us to see if we really have done with SHIT.
No matter how hard can be to speak up. Let is out loud. Let yourself be seen for who you are and let the mask to fall. Is no need anymore for all this. The world is changing, we need you to be true to yourself and to show up for who you are at your core.
I love you even I don't know you, but I know your heart, and there is an infinite LOVE that waits to be expressed and shared will all of us.
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